Say, what?

One of the hardest things of learning a new language is avoiding the misunderstandings that come, not from the language itself, but from the way the language is spoken.

When you are learning how to speak in a foreign language you usually go through a series of phases:

First, there is that phase where you have only begun learning the new language and you understand very little of it, specially when talking to people that speak fast or with a certain accent. When you find yourself in a crowd you're in constant fear that someone will actually notice you and *gulp* ask you a question that you will have to answer... with words!!! It's quite a frustrating phase because you simply can.not.communicate. You feel you don't know where to even begin building phrases and you soon realize how incredibly important talking and communicating is and how much we take it for granted.

Then comes that phase where you've begun loosing your fear of the language and actually are able to understand pretty much everything that is being said. Still, you don't quite feel comfortable with your own abilities to communicate in the foreign language yet so you shy away during conversations, following the topics simply by silently listening, internally agreeing or disagreeing with what is being said and a lot of the times cursing the fact that you can't actually jump in the conversation and add your two cents. This, to me is even more frustrating than the first phase because most of the times you feel that if you could only just speak the stupid language you could be interacting much more with the people around you.

Slowly but surely you get to that phase where you finally can communicate. You still have to keep the conversation simple and easy though but at least you are able to join in conversations and add your own input when you feel like it. You no longer are afraid to speak as you feel more and more confident with your level and suddenly start to actually see the improvement you make with each passing day. This is quite an exciting phase, when you can actually tell the progress that is being made and this motivates you even more. This is also that phase where you invariable make those funny "false friends" mistakes. Theresa wrote a really good post about this phase a few weeks ago, check it out here.

But then comes the scariest phase of all. And it has nothing to do with the language itself... and yet it has all to do with the action of communicating.

I'm talking about the phase when you have long since so called "mastered" the foreign language. You speak it, you write it, you understand it, you are able to communicate in it. You have at last gotten to that point where you are able to interact at any time and place and you feel comfortable to tackle life in that language if you should so choose to do.

And yet, communication is not solely achieved by forming the correct phrases by using the correct words. It's much more complicated than that. And this is where it gets harder.

Once you've "mastered" the foreign language people don't expect you to make mistakes anymore. At least not blatant ones. When it's been years you've been living and working in the country, when you speak that language on a daily basis and it's the language you communicate in with your husband, friends, co-workers, boss, PIL.....it's like you're no longer allowed or exempted from making communication faux-pas... you're not a native, everyone is aware of that, but you are no longer a "foreigner" either. You have become some kind of "foreign native".

People always say my french is really good. I'm not gloating. They really do say this to me. I'm told I have a very subtle accent that is not easily placed. Perhaps it's the fact that my accent probably has an unconventional twist of English and Spanish mixed into it. Or perhaps it's because I've spent literally thousands of hours repeating to myself under my breath in the subway a certain phrase or practicing in front of the mirror over and over until I can pronounce a certain word perfectly. I can't help it, it's the Virgo in me. If you're going to do something, you might as well do it right.

Anyway, the fact is that people very often complement me on my french and in the case of some of the people I work with on a daily basis they even tend to forget that french is not my mother language. They've gotten so used to my way of speaking that they simply don't think me capable of making communication gaffes.

Yet, I do.

In any language, it's not only the words you speak, it's how you speak them that carries the meaning.

French is not an exception... in fact, I think it's the exact opposite. There is a lot more room for confusion being as this language is really quite subtle when it comes to the connotations a certain tone of voice can mean.

It's quite easy, and as I've discovered over the years, quite common too, for a simple Question to be taken for an Accusation. For a Suggestion to be mistaken for an Order. For Sarcasm to be confused with Criticism. For Criticism to be mistaken for Judgment (in fact, I've often wondered if this is why the french are such raleurs).

It's all in the tone of voice. Not in the words used.

Factor in an additional layer of foreign-ness (which in my case, people don't even consider anymore) and you can easily find your words being taken completely out of context and being dangerously misinterpreted.

It kindda brings me back to Phase one: where you realize how incredibly important talking and communicating correctly is and how much we take it for granted.

Fned.