The art of "ralêr"

Tonight André and I could just not deal with the whole "what to have for diner?" thing, let alone go out and buy the stuff to make it, cook it, serve it, eat it and clean after it. So we decided to hit our local McDonald's joint.

Now, I don't know why it's so, but in France fast food joints are everything but enticing. It's like the french consider it a point of honor to make fast food restaurants as yucky as possible, probably to remind us that in France, food is not something to be taken lightly and to discourage people from eating at these places. And it works too, because if you walk into any Pizza Hut, KFC, Subway, etc; the place usually stinks of burnt oil and cheap cleaning products, quite often there's trash on the floor and basically the place doesn't seem very hygienic.... not very enticing to someone who lives in la capitale de la gastronomie.

So we usually skip the fast food joints altogether, but tonight, the temptation for easy ready-to-eat cheap and close-by food was too much to pass up and so we settled for burger and fries at McDo', as they call the yellow M chain here.

We had just sat down at a table not far from the counter when this guy still in line started arguing with one of the cashiers. The argument quickly got loud enough that most of us in the restaurant stopped eating and were now looking in their direction. From what we could gather the argument was over the free toy that comes in the Happy Meals and by the screaming and yelling we understood that he wanted the girl to give him one for free for his 3 year old kid (who incidently, was hanging to his daddy's leg terrified, we could see, at watching his father going bezerk). The cashier refused to give him a toy for free and the guy continued to yell louder and started screaming for her to get him a manager. She finally yelled back that she was the manager and that is when he completely lost it. He said she was a crummy manager (I'm using the G-rated adjectives he actually used) and then suddenly spit in her face!

What impressed me the most was that up to then, no one, not the other cashiers (all guys), nobody standing in line and no one from the restaurant, had bothered to intervene or call the cops or even security. We had all stopped and were watching the scene of course, but nobody had actually decided to put a stop to all the yelling and insulting. Finally, when the guy spit at the girl a guy from the kitchen and another man sitting not far from there got up and tried to reason with the dude asking him to calm down and to leave the restaurant, but incredibly nobody did anything to actually get (push? shove? kick?) him OUT.

I kept thinking, if this was Mexico that guy would have had his face punched in the second he started yelling at the girl. Now I know we're not about to win the "most galant country" award or anything but if there's one thing you have to say for men in Mexico is that even with all their macho crap a guy gets up and defends a lady in distress even if it means getting into a fist fight (and usually that's what happens).... it's the whole "don't you dare insult mi mama, mi hermana or mi vieja" thing.... Back home, NO guy would have been able to get away after spitting at a girl with his face intact. I thought back to all those times when friends of mine would just start pushing and shoving and eventually punching each other over a dirty look or a mean remark to a lady friend of theirs... I used to think that was so childish and show-off of them but seeing these guys go ahead and let a man spit in the face of another person and just stand there made me want to bring a whole army of sombrero-wearing pistol-flaring-mexicanos to show him the meaning of respect!

That's the thing about the french... they looooooooovvvvvvveeeee to ralêr.... but it very rarely goes beyond that. To ralêr means to argue/yell/dispute/make a scene all rolled up into one little verb and basically that's your average parisian: you stepped on someone's foot in the metro by accident? before you get a chance to beg their pardon they'll be ralêr-ing with a good old "non, mais ça va pas non!!!!???" The bus driver parked a bit too far from the curb and the old man has to walk an extra two steps to get on the bus? Before he's handing his bus pass he's already telling the driver what a con (idiot) he is... The car in front made a sharp right without his warning lights forcing the bicycle behind to brake in order to let him pass? The cyclist will catch up with him at the next stop light and will start yelling what an inconsiderate bastard he is.

But it wont go beyond that. Of course, the other will start to retaliate, often even denying that he did anything wrong ("why'd you put your foot there in the first place?", "or if you don't like where I park my bus wait for next one old man", or "what do I care about your stupid ol' bike?") but you'll never see people in the metro get into a fist fight over someone's stomped foot and never will a bus driver slap another man's face and never will someone get out of their car and start punching another fellow driver..... the most they'll do is spit at each other.

That's the thing... here you win by yelling the loudest and getting to have the last word (or no spit on your face!). In Mexico it's whoever's still standing.

I'm not yet sure which I prefer.

-Fned.