Serious faux pas

If there is one thing that I have not yet been able to get used to about living in France is that "dropping in on friends" is not an option here.

I never used to consider this when living in Mexico but ever since I moved here I noticed that there is a certain formality that must be respected when it comes to visiting friends.... and there is no such thing as arriving chez someone unannounced.

Back home, usually meeting up with friends would go something like this:

"que onda guey? Que se hace?"
hey there, what's up?*

"no se, que se te occurre?"
Not much, what about you?

"ni idea, pero mira, paso por ti en 20 minutos, te late?"
"same here, I'll be over in 20 mins, we can figure what to do when I get there, ok with you?"

"orale pues! nos vemos"
"cool! see ya in a bit"

In a matter of a few minutes we'd be meeting someplace and hanging out, watching a soccer game or having an improvised party. Friends would be called or picked up, a quick stop at the Oxxo for refreshments and "botana" and that would be it....


Now, this is how a "similar" get-together with friends in France would go:


"Allo, bonjour? ça va?"
"Hello? How are you?"

"Très bien et toi?"
"I'm doing fine, how about yourself?"

"Pas mal, pas mal... beaucoup de boulot en ce moment, mais bon. Dis, on se disait que ça fait un moment qu'on ne s'est pas vu, ça vous dirait de venir dinner à la maison le week-end du 12 ?"
"not bad, not bad.... tons of work right now, but whatever. We were just thinking that it's been a while since we've seen you guys.... how 'about coming over for diner on the 12th?"

"Attends, je regarde, ne quittes pas...... (......)..... beh... en fait, on n'est pas là ce week-end là... par contre, on peut le 22 ?"
"hold on, let me check... (......).... actually, we're not home that weekend.... but we're available on the 22nd"

"Euh... je regarde, le 22, c'est la veille de notre depart en vacances donc ça ne nous arrange pas trop..... et le 15 ?"
"Let me see... the 22nd... ergh... it's the day before we leave on holidays... doesn't work too well for us..... how about the 15th?"

"Le 15, le 15..... c'est un jeudi ça non?, ça fait rien, d'accord.... qu'est ce qu'on amène ?"
"The 15th, the 15th..... it's a Thursday isn't it?... doesn't matter though... sounds good... what do you want us to bring?"

"Eh... je ne sais pas... je propose qu'on s'envoi un mail et puis on voit... ça te va?"
"Don't know... how about I email you later and we'll see... ok with you?"

"Superb... je note le 15 au soir chez vous vers 19h30?"
"Great.... I'm writing down the 15th in the evening at your place, 7:30pm sounds good?"

"Parfait, au 15 alors...."
"Perfect.... I'll see ya on the 15th then"

"Au 15, chao"
"See ya... bye"

"Salut"
"Bye"


I'd started to forget about this lack of spontaneity in France, but then my friend Jorge from Spain came over this weekend on business. I knew he would be here but we hadn't made any specific plans or anything. Saturday evening he calls me and says he's meeting up with some friends at a local Irish pub and if I want to meet up with them. I do, and 30 minutes later we're sharing a beer and having a great time.

When we walk out of the pub we decide to call some other (spanish) friends and hang out at their place. They tell us to come over and 20mins later we're at their appartment opening a bottle of wine someone left at their place at some point.

Sometime around 10pm we get hungry so we just go to a Japanese place near by and have some sushi.....

I had such a great time and it was wonderful seeing everyone but what I realize that made me the happiest was the carefree, lightspirited way everything came about... no planning, no agenda, no reservation or confirmation emails... nothing... just friends getting together in that informal, spur of the moment way that I miss and that seems to be such a faux pas here.

Fned.

*not a literal translation but kindda the way it would go in English.