Being an expat saves careers

First of all I want to thank you girls for your sweet messages and suggestions. When stuff like this happens I tend to blow a fuse and freak out but your comments made me realize it wasn't the end of the world.... and guess what? You were right!!!

Hubby's first reaction when I told him about the "incident" was to tell me to call that person back inmediately and make a joke about the whole thing and apologize (kinda like your friend, Mariella! ;)). Sounds logical, right? Of course by the time I'd actually called hubby I'd already panicked and pulled a "head in the sand" move by letting the hours tick by. So when I finally did get the courage to call, it was late in the evening.

I took a gulp and dialed this person's number. She picked up on the first ring and I felt my stomach jump. I made time by first going through a series of pending subjects with her but when I could see the list was nearing the end I decided it was time to bite the bullet. I told her that: by the way, I'd been going through my call history that day and that I'd suddenly realized I must have accidentally left a "weird" message on her machine. I told her I couldn't recall exactly what was on the message but that in any case I apologized for any gibberish that might have been said (how lame, I know!). To my inmediate relief she seemed really nice about the whole thing. She said that indeed she'd seen there was some sort of a bizare message from me but that she didn't even thing twice about it and had erased it (I can't help but feel though that she probably did listen to my message carefully and maybe even played it back a couple of times). Bottom line is she said she understood we've all been under a whole lot of pressure lately and to forget it.

I was starting to feel a bit nervous about all this "nice" and understanding attitude and even began to suspect that it was all part of an evil master plan to get back at me (be all nice and forgiving while at the same time plotting a career-destroying revenge behing my back) when suddenly out of the blue she asked me THE question.

I say "THE" question because it is the question I have heard at least once a day for the past 6 years of my life : "you have a little accent I somehow can't place, can I ask where you're from?"

I usually think carefully before answering this question. I have come to learn that depending on my reply I will get a certain reaction. For example, if I'm speaking to someone in the bank sector chances are if I say I'm american their eyes will light up and their smile will broaden but if I'm speaking to a "prof" (public teacher) then their eyes tend to narrow and they suddenly become "aloof". Or if I'm being introduced to friends of friends and I say I'm mexican/american I know they'll file me under "foreign/exotic" and I instantly become a "dissecting-worthy subject". If I'm talking on the phone and I say I am mexican I can literally hear the "oh" (to be translated as: "another third-world country poor thing coming to Europe looking for a better life").... I've come to accept that you can't always fight clichés. So instead I try to think carefully how I am going to respond to THE question each time and I'm not ashamed to say that I often answer to my advantage.

So when this person asked me where I was from I hesitated. I considered my possibilities and tried to think quick. I took a chance and replied that I was mexican. I have to admit I was going for the pity "don't hold what happened against me" approach. But instead I got a genuine positive reaction! Turns out that she's from Spain (but has lived in France all her life, hence the no accent) and all of a sudden we were ranting away in spanish, laughing at our respecive language glitches (my "guey" versus her "tío", etc) and making plans to go for coffee one of these days.

I believe in a higher spirit but I think this can't be attributed to anything alse than my lucky (mexican) stars!!!

Fned.