Miss you! Come back to blogging!
I was stunned. I was speechless. I was touched. But most of all, I was in a dilemma.
I love my blog and I loved blogging. I often go back and read some of my posts from 2007 through to early 2009 and relive what was possibly some of the best moments of our life in France. Everything was exciting and new and fun to blog about. A cool job I enjoyed, a new apartment that we were making our home, new blogger friends to get to know either online or in person, exciting places to travel and explore, and of course quirky, beautiful, enchanting Paris to discover and enjoy to the fullest... I was a happy Fned and it shows in those blog posts. I love reading them now and remembering those times.
However, by late 2009 and early 2010 although things hadn't changed that much, I had.
I probably didn't realize it at the time, but I think that when my dad passed away, something just broke. From that moment on, very few things brought me joy or got me excited enough to rack up the energy or the inspiration to write about. Instead of accepting it was this loss that affected me so strongly, I attributed it to being "bored of life". Every time I clicked on the "New Post" button, a little voice in my head would pop up and start whispering "yeah work is fine, yeah you have a Hubby who loves you, yeah, you travel.....but you've already blogged about all that before....what's REALLY new and exciting in your life?"... and as much as I tried, nada.
I don't think I consciously ever decided to stop writing, but I do recall starting posts several times only to stop mid way, sigh, feel the words "oh, what's the point?" creep up to my lips, delete the whole thing, and shut down my lap top with a slam.
I mean, it did, I do get inspired to track for posterity the incredible journey that this half mexican half american chick and her half french half romanian hubby have gone through while settling down and living in Great Britain. The funny anecdotes, the quirky cultural-shock experiences, the long held cliches crashing down like a castle of cards.....
.... but the mental determination required to sit down and type coherent string of words to describe these experiences is just not there yet.
Which is the dilemma I am in.
Anonymous, I wanted to let you know that I did not ignore your comment... on the contrary. This post has been swirling in my head for a while now and is a direct reply to your message. I wanted to let you know how touched I was and how much it meant to me. I do hope I am able to come back to blogging soon (there IS so much to write about!).
Perhaps, slowly but surely, I may yet be able to resuscitate Fned's Blog. Thank you for reminding me how much I love and miss it.