As cas où tu ne le savais pas déjà...

- In case you didn't know this already -

Today is Hubby's birthday.

I'm always amazed when I read my past blog posts about how much I mention Hubby without really talking about him.

I guess in a way you can say I do it out of respect for his privacy. He really is my best friend in the whole world and I'd hate it if my best friend felt that he couldn't talk to me because he was afraid I'd spill his guts on the internet for the world to read (ok, let's face it, not really the world since I doubt it cares, mostly our parents :)).

I have blogged in the past about his Birthday and mainly the big 3-0 surprise weekend I organized for him a few years ago (yep, babe, you ARE turning 33 today!) but as I was going through some old drafts I'd written but never published over the summer while he was already living in London and I was still in Paris, I came across the following text which I guess I wrote in a moment when I was feeling particularly lonely without him:

I miss my Hubby.

I miss him real bad and it doesn't have to do with the fact that he's not here physically. He's a part of me of what constitutes my space in this world and without him I feel as if some part of me has gone away missing. Him in my life is part of my routine, my everyday, my life.

I miss looking at his dreamy face in the morning when he gets up and hasn't had a coffee or his shower. I miss him handing me my makeup stuff when he knows I'm running late and I miss getting exasperated seeing his towel hanging on a door to dry instead of the hook we put up on the wall specifically for that purpose. I miss seeing him rolling his eyes while he watches me struggle with the decision of what to wear for work and I miss seeing him carefully comb his hair in front of the mirror only to have his curls dry up in a matter of seconds and erase any evidence that a comb was ever used.

I miss our text conversations with a zillionth little messages that say nothing at all but read out as an entire conversation throughout the day. It's not the same now looking down on my phone and seeing his name appear on the screen and know that he really is far away.

It's not only his voice I miss, I miss all that goes with it. The way his nose wrinkles when he laughs or the way his eyes roll when I say something stupid. I miss seeing him smile his goofy grin and I miss seeing him get all red in the face when I piss him off.

I miss leaving the office and no longer engaging in our daily '"leaving d office babe. going 2 supermkt. need anything?" mutual text ritual.

I miss him because he makes me miss us and therefore there is no me.

Yikes! I really do love this man!



Even after aaaaaaaall this time!



Even if he is so oooolddddd now!


I love him.



So Happy Birthday Hubby! It's your 33rd and although I missed out on the first 24, I plan to be around for the rest of 'em so....

..... bon courage to ya !!! ;)

Fned.